Stuck
by eyeSharingan
Summary: Naruto is hungry and decides to find his team for a bit of a snack, only to discover something completely different going on behind a closed door. Mature Themes; Humour. Re-uploaded to reinstate beta profile. Old, old, OLD work from those dreaded teenage years.


**Stuck**

\- eyeSharingan

 **Summary:**

Naruto is hungry and decides to find his team for a bit of a snack, only to discover something completely different going on behind a closed door. Mature Themes; Humour.

 **Notes:**

Pulled from my FF.N account; written late 2007.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. If I did all the characters would be having orgies.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

* * *

An afternoon glow crept across the gentle town of Konoha. People bustled around the market, getting their daily stock. Through the crowds, a blonde haired shinobi with whiskers emerged.

It was about four in the afternoon, and as usual, Naruto Uzumaki was hungry.

GRRR!

"Shut up stomach!" The shinobi said, punching, and successfully winding himself.

It's not like he wasn't going to eat something. He had just decided to ask the rest of his team if they would like to join him. Yes, Team Kakashi. It had been over two years since they had all been together, with the exception of Sasuke.

Making his way to the Hokage complex, he decided he didn't care whether or not they were hungry, they were coming. He wanted, nay _needed_ , food.

Rushing inside he made his way to Tsunade's office, where he knew Sakura would be. They could always find Kakashi afterwards. Or forget him completely.

' _Like a date!'_ Naruto thought to himself. Yes. That was a much more efficient idea.

As he approached the fifth Hokage's office, Naruto stopped, as he heard movement and Sakura inside.

' _Must be with Granny Tsunade'_

"Kakashi the more you play with it the harder it will get" Sakura moaned.

"I can see you're getting frustrated there, Sakura – Chan"

Naruto gasped as he heard Kakashi's deep voice reply. What the hell was he doing there?

"Really? Never would have guessed that! You're so observant, now I know where you got your infamous title from." Sakura bit back. There was an edge to her voice that Naruto didn't like. It was like nothing he had ever heard from Sakura before. "Of course I'm bloody frustrated! You promised we'd be finished by now! What if we get caught?"

"We won't get caught. Tsunade is at the Hyuuga mansion, talking things over with Hiashi. You know how long that would take." Kakashi grumbled, seemingly annoyed with Sakura's sarcasm.

"Well, you promised that this, this, problem, would never happen again after last time!"

"Well sometimes things don't always go to plan!"

Naruto was stunned as he listened to the words. Was he really hearing what he thought he was hearing? Where they really, you know, getting down to, uh, _"business_ "?

Naruto couldn't believe it. Kakashi had to be over twice Sakura's age. He was her team mate. Yes, he was a top shinobi, and was still in great condition, but still…wouldn't he be…old?

"It's okay, he just needs a little, coaxing," Kakashi's voice piped up, in his usual perky tone. "Maybe if you try talking to him properly he'll play nice?"

"Oh yeah like that's ever going to happen. Just my luck that it will get stuck like that when I want it!" Sakura scolded. It was obvious her frustration was mounting. Naruto still couldn't understand what was going on. He did think, however, that if Granny Tsunade ever found out what was going on behind that door, Kakashi would be kneeling on the floor, all his precious Icha Icha books being tortured in front of his eyes, while he begged for their dear life. He grinned at the thought, thinking it would be an interesting sight to see.

Naruto's day - dreams were cut off, as he heard a cry of joy break out over both his team mates' mouths.

"See! I told we could get him to wake up!"

"Well, that's the hard part done. Kakashi, you really are getting old, I'm sure you would able to do this much quicker in your younger days."

"Well I'm sorry, but we aren't all 17"

"Sometimes you act like it though"

"Oh do I really, well…" Naruto tuned out as he listened to their bickering. Was this some kind of foreplay to them?

"Fine, whatever Kakashi, just get it in there and we can be done with this as soon as possible"

"As you wish" Naruto could here the smirk playing across Kakashi's face, and shivered as he heard a soft _'hmm'_ escaped from Sakura.

"Sakura, relax, all of it will get in, and in time. Nothing will go wrong." Kakashi said in replied to her moan. "I told you I could help you out; didn't I cure your frustration?"

That's it. Naruto had heard enough.

He rammed into what he assumed to be a locked door, only to find it was completely unlocked, landing with a heavy thud on the ground.

Standing up, he looked over to where he heard a deep "What the - ?"

"Alright, Kakashi! That's enough! You get your perverted hands off Sakura, before I – before – what?"

Naruto was confused as he stared upon a fully clothed Sakura and Kakashi, huddling over what appeared to be Tsunade's printer.

"Naruto! What the hell are you talking about?" Sakura screeched.

"I thought – he was – you were…you couldn't get him up!" Naruto yelled, pointing at Kakashi. He was baffled. He was sure of what he heard. Wasn't he?

Kakashi stared bewildered at Naruto, comprehension slowly dancing across his eye. He let out a small chuckle.

"Sakura – Chan, I believe, and I do not think I am mistaken, that Naruto assumed we were having sex." Kakashi's eye crinkled and it was obvious he found this situation humorous.

"He…WHAT!?" Sakura bellowed. Naruto turned to look at her, only to take a step back in terror. She was so much like Granny Tsunade it wasn't funny.

"Yes, that's what I think." Kakashi replied. "Let me clarify for you Naruto. Sakura was trying to print out the daily medical reports, ready for the Hokage to read when she got back, when, once again, her printer was jammed. I was passing by in search of the Hokage, and decided to assist. After all, you know what Tsunade can be like without her regular routine. That is all that was going on" He walked over to the blonde haired shinobi, danger flashing across his onyx eye. "And I am not _that_ old that I can't get _him_ up."

"I – uh…well…how about we all go for some Ichiraku Ramen?" Naruto sheepishly said, attempting to change the conversation.

"WHAT! OH NO! YOU CAN'T COME IN HERE AFTER THINKING **THAT** AND CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON ME!" Sakura launched herself at Naruto.

Kakashi shut the door behind him, as he left the office.

All was quiet in Konoha. Well, except for the shrill yells of one very angry kunoichi, and the faint grumbling of one very hungry, knucklehead ninja.

* * *

 **Notes:**

I hoped you liked it!

Please review with any kind of feed back!

\- eye


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